Hello and Welcome to Freedom Experience Therapy

~ ~ ~ You can best reach me via my contact form (on “Contact Me” – where you also can pay me) or try me at 519 686 6822 ~ ~ ~

Let’s start with Dan Goleman’s point above. For 50 years now I’ve been a couple, individual, family and group psychotherapist. I’ve made my way through many “learnings”.. from Assertiveness Training to Gestalt Therapy on into Psychosynthesis with key interests in Zen Buddhism and Daoism. But no matter the ideas we have, to Notice what we’ve failed to notice, can change everything for the better.

So putting therapy techniques aside, I suggest How we Notice Certain Things in our Lives – in Oneself and in Others – is a crucial balance factor for us. It makes a vital difference in how we can live well and thrive even within these stressful times we live in. As Goleman, the Buddha, the Daoist Lao tzu and many other sages point out, we (and our global societies) have a Vast Dilemma. . . We fail to notice (and then act on) our tendency to automate a wide range of our personal, interpersonal and Worldly Stuff (say like $ :>) Unlike the way that Unhappy personal Stuff is characterized by some experts (as what you are to be ashamed of or guilty for) a fellow psychotherapist – the Gestaltist Fritz Perls – called all such stuff simply our Unfinished Business… That is, Life is really a Journey of Awareness – ideally of growth in our Conscious self Balance. In other words our difficulties with Life, other People and Ourselves are Challenges in which we have the chance to Learn – not to suffer for what were supposedly your inherent, unchangeable wrongdoings as you may have been told or taught.

You see, there’s a kind of vast Totality within us – a Whole… of both positive and negative events, hopes, dreams and unhappy (but often repressed or forgotten and yet now often ‘normalized’) trauma. All this piles up inside us from birth onwards… and we’re better off to understand this and accept how we need to finish and integrate such learning into our present lives. But unfortunately we avoid this – since we may not yet have come to care about the Whole of our Living. Hence we do that “Failing to Notice Our Not Noticing Thing” ::<>{}. Consequently, these unintegrated experiences accumulate (inside and between us) until we realize this stuff needs our attention. So, rather than sailing on through with our Usual (#$@&) Preoccupations, we figure we better Do Something about whatever it is that’s proving to be say: painful, important or (for example) the concern that brought you here today..

So… Changing,,, It is pretty central to our lives, yes? You may want to be able to change whatever concerns you – but feel it’s not possible. You may want to not change (!) while your life, job, parent, partner, child or ex-partner is Requiring you to Do So – and you know you’re in trouble if you ignore that. . . Then there’s all the wide assortment of types of pain we can feel. Hence you may know (or suspect) that you’re at a choice point, in distress and hoping to change that.

As you arrive on this site, then, you may be wondering: “How do I change in a manner that fits me – and what way is it that a psychotherapist can really help with this?”

It is at this crossroads in time that we look for help – inside or outside ourselves – then ideally try out whatever seems helpful. The “Failing to notice that we’ve Not been Noticing” process is similar to what you may already be perhaps feeling… What I mean is the way one can be anxious about being anxious, depressed about being depressed, confused about being confused – like the many other such (noticing/not noticing) layers we set up within ourselves. By this I mean we have a total, say, of all Past events, our Present sense of Now – as well as the layers of where we see ourselves Going in the Future. Of course, whatever bugs us with any of these parts of self, it can be more Normal (simple) or Hard (elusive) to Deal with. This either/or problem can be because we find ourselves caught in these Layers – the Layered~Layerings of Self.

So I call this experience of living in Layers one’s Lself. It is your – or my or others – Reality of Existing partly on auto. It’s where we’ve at least to some extent automated our way of relating with self, others and the world. Now while at least some of these Lself layers have more clear awareness, other layers are based in the Ignoring that Goleman points to. For instance: “Now I’ve got it together” (versus) “I really don’t know what I’m doing”… or: “I have this angel on one side of me and its darn ‘opposite’ on the other.”

Psychotherapy is really an aid to reflection on all these things, leading to shifts in consciousness, feeling and thinking and therefore changes in action. Such times of healthy learning and growth can certainly be done without a therapist – we just assist. Like hiring any consultant, you need to be in charge.

Please note: I am presently re-building this site (which badly needed updating :::>[] ) For now at least, then, for more information or to arrange a short, free consultation please reach me using my contact form here. I will note that: 1) As of mid(ish) 2022 I am only meeting people virtually. This may change into an option of meeting people in my private back yard – once it is warmer. 2) I do have available spaces to see people but cannot guarantee how that may be when you contact me. 3) There are plenty of extended benefit plans which cover my services as a Registered Psychotherapist but it would be good to check in case you are concerned. 4) My standard fee is $160.00 per 60 minutes (HST included). There is a potential for lowering that if you do not have coverage.

Thank you in advance for your interest. Warm regards, Barry

Last Note: “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own common sense.” – Buddha